Unreasonable

I am feeling pretty down... Never have I been feeling so tired in a relationship. I was just facing another test of patience kind of scenario last night. I do not know what is really happening in current situation. Current gf has been having roller coaster type of personality. She has two extreme personality which I am having quite a hard time to keep her on the positive side or at least being on balance mode.

I see that she has many many past negative experiences that has shaped her to become who she is now. There's been couple of times where I shared things with her and letting her know on the impact that can be resulted from being over extreme when she lose control on her anger. So far I have been receiving her extreme sentences without having to fend her off. I have no idea how long will I be able to withstand this situation nor having the energy to go on being patience.

For those who follow on this blog, I am sure some of you can recall on my sharing about being over-stretch in terms of being patience. At this moment, I am feeling as if the stretching is greater than what I have experienced before. I am so so so so so eager and have been asking the Lord for mercy. I am feeling super tired on being patience. I wanna have vacation and restful moment in my personal life. I just want to be free from pressure, I wanna be free from being underdog... I wanna be free to negative things in my life.

I am praying really hard that this relationship will work out fine and things will get better and better. I have nowhere to turn to nor any place for me to let out my frustrated feeling. My settlement in J-town has been quite spikey and I have been struggling pretty much. Most importantly, I miss my church life so much... I miss serving the Lord... I miss the time when I was on fire and hungry for HIM. Now I know that it is in those area that I am fully satisfied.

Lord I pray for your mercy, grace and your favor upon my life, relationship, career and settling down......