C0MPL41N1N6

RRRRrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr..... What is really happening with me??? Have I gone mad or something??? I have been struggling with hearing voice as if I am having conversation with another person daily. This is really getting me round and round and round and round. How I wish to just having good conversation with Him. That's all I want. I want no other voice talking to me but Him.

I know my life been messed up to large extent and it is a crucial turning point that I have to make in order to step away from path of destruction. I wanna improve and I wanna get my life straight again. Why is it so difficult in regards to wanting to get my life straight again??? I am so angry about this.

The whole issue of hearing voices and comforting voice has confused me a lot too. I have experienced this from my previous relationship and now I am in the similar situation. I know God is in control and all I want is to hear Him telling me what is right and what is wrong. I just don't want to go out of His grace anymore. I am tired of running in the loop.

I am seriously tired of running in the similar struggles for years and years. I wanna break free and start my life without any of those matters. Why? Why? Why must it be the case when I am desperately wanting to get back to HIM, things have to be this tough. Why things have to be so so so grey whenever I am choosing my partner... Why is it never enough whenever I got my paycheck no matter what's the amount.

I am desiring for answer and definitely wanting to meet Him and all all these questions... I just want a simple life and most importantly no more in lacks and able to do what I need to do well. I don't want to be ashamed to the Gospel and to Him. That's all I desire. Lord... Where are you really???