As far as I am getting disorientated, I felt pretty crushed out and left with limited energy. Thinking process also getting rather juggle up. Main concern is to say things that I ought not to say and not voicing out things that I am supposed to say. At this moment in time I understand that there are at least two people may have been feeling upset/disappointed with some sharing I had with them. The more I say, the deeper the hole I am digging in. Sigh..........
There are two main issues that I am having deep thinking and on the planning process. One of the issues is related to commitment and the other one is more concern on how to build, improve and strengthen. Sometimes I really don't like personal character such as incompetency toward certain issues, too apologetic, moody and sometimes lingering on certain issues for too long. All these have affected things and people around me. It's like I am literally trapped in my own world altogether. Sob.. sob.. sob...
It's like I am now standing on the huge and open desert where I have no sense of direction and the sun is exactly on top of my head. I know I gotta be still and wait till there is a movement of the sun then I can roughly get my natural compass right. May it be north, south, east, west... There are many many words and thoughts in me where I do not know how to say or even put them into sentences. But I know and fully believe that God knows and He is here guiding my foot steps.
This is the gift that I am truly thankful for. It is my prayer that the blessing, favor, love, mercy and grace of the Lord be with me as I walk through this path right now...
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