Am I lost or something???

Everyday seems to become like a routine. Working==> Bus/MRT ==> Home ==> Turning on Computer ==> Shower ==> checking mails ==> chat ==> sleep ==> getting ready for working ==> ETC.. I could even more or less recall which person will be standing at which place on the train and what time will they be there at times. The way I stand and the place I stand also more or less fall on the same spot. Some days I am feeling the excitement of which I hope it will never end and some days are just really left hanging thus slowly slide down to the drain. I could not understand what's going on. I wish to add more spices in this environment and how i wish to rediscover fresh excitement in my journey ahead.



I know that there are few things that I couldn't do as when I did few years back. I remembered to have so much time running around the mission field and witnessing what God is doing and impacting life. Where am I now??? Have I been out of place or something??? Could it be that I am the one whose life is in need of fresh impact from the Lord again??? I always look back on how excited i was after coming back from India. From there on, the journey seems to divert into different path and different form of journey started to take place.



I felt as if my journey with the Lord has been slowing down and I wasn't as on fire as before. However, i couldn't say that the Lord is not with me too!!! Multiple life testimonies took place like never before and for the past two years alone I almost got killed or even got into accident twice. Testimonies on walking with different form of weather birth forth more and more too. The Lord also has blessed me by teaching + guiding me in both youth and worship ministry as well... Hmmm... somehow I am not satisfied... I could not identify what has gone missing.



I am so so so tired... and I am really really really tired... I thank The Lord that He knows what will cheer me up and I am grateful for all the things He has done and given to me in my everyday life. Deep inside of me do ask.. shouldn't I feel content and move on??? Indeed I am rather ambitios in nature and love to take myself to the limit. Currently things which are permissible and not permissible are getting clearer and clearer in my life. I know I am lacking of growth in the Word and I do hope to grab hold of that part as I am taking up the journey.

I wish I could share in detail what's happening... But i do know God knows what I am feeling... maybe I will share with someone whom i can be myself when I talk..

(In need more of You O Lord... )